Resolving...

Ok. So its February (the end of February at that...) and I am a little (a lot) late to the game on the whole resolution thing, but what can I say? I'm non-traditional, I go against the grain, I fly by the seat of my ill-fitting pants...

Alright. That is quite enough of that.

Anyway, soon my husband will be going out of town for a month and it will be just me and my psychotic/hyper-active/passive aggressive Border Collie, Olive for 30 days. So I figured rather than pine away on my velveteen and gold embroidered fainting couch (*snort* *cough* stained, 2 year old , put-it-together yourself you lazy American, covered in dirty/maybe clean laundry, Ikea couch) for the next month, that I would put together a list of fancy/interesting things that I will resolve to do over the next 30 days to keep my punk a$& busy.

1) Do as least 25-30 reps on my teeny, tiny, girly 2lb weights everyday.
    * So I can get super hunky and ripped. Someone better put my vet on stand-by because I think my pythons are gonna get SICK. *insert fist-bump here*

2) Eat at least 1 of the foods on this, The 30 Healthiest Foods , list every day.
   * The last time "The Hero" went away I ate roasted yams and tilapia every.single.night. It was an accident at first but then it turned into this thing that I will never live down. It was sad and I don't want to repeat it. Plus, I may have turned slightly orange and scaly....

3) Say something positive about myself everyday.
   * Insert witty comment about the dwindling self-confidence of American women*

4) Bake at least 4 times.
   * I used to bake nearly every weekend. It was a way to feel homey and productive when I was in school. Now it's become a way to make a lot of dishes I don't want to clean. I would like to change that.

5) Try at least 4 new recipes.
   * See aforementioned meal rut status*

6) Write/Journal everyday.
   * Because I have important things to say about the very unimportant things I do in life, dammit!

7) Have at least 2 nights out with a friend or friends.
   * Apparently being a hermit isn't cool anymore and having conversations with your dog while walking in the neighborhood makes people suspicious of your mental status. Life's little lessons.

8) Hike at least 4 times.
   * For physical exercise and to lord it over my husband who will be residing in a place where a speed bump is considered a hike.

9) Deep clean the house.
  * Because there is a show called Hoarders now, and you really don't want people to see the things you have unhealthy emotional attachments too.
**Additional plus-having more space in the micro-dot apartment we live in.

10) Work out for a least 2 hours a week.
   * Dog walking doesn't count and neither does getting ready really fast because you over slept. ( I swear, I'm not this lazy...all the time.)

11) Get a new haircut.
   * Its old, its faded, and I am really, really, REALLY sick of it.

12) Find a 12th resolution.
   * Because odd numbers freak me out. Don't judge.

So. That's my list. Will you join me? Will you laugh at me behind my back? Will you not care?

The choice is yours my friends. The choice is yours.

I now leave you with this....

You're Welcome.